Hi, my name is Hazel and this is my story...
In 2012 I stood alone in a gallery filled with my art ready to welcome over 200 people to my private show. I stood there in the realisation of what I had created, with pieces of my journey imagined in art hanging for all to see. Five years before, I narrowly escaped a narcissistic abusive marriage, that destroyed my self-belief and sent me into a deep spiral of despair.
In that moment of silence, I became enlightened by the fact that many women never recover from such emotional abuse, to rebuild their lives with passion and purpose, yet here I was doing exactly that. This realisation showed me there was something more to my life purpose than making my own art or teaching others to make art, perform or sing.
However, apparently, I did not learn my lesson deeply enough. I remarried several years later and fell in love with a man who would deeply betray me and my soul in my second narcissistic marriage. I was stuck in a repeating pattern of trying to create my life but seeing it sabotaged by my own ability to give my power away to my abusers and having all my love rejected. I moved away from my abuser giving everything of value away, landing myself in internal and external poverty. I fell apart at the seams, panic attacks were a common occurrence when performing the smallest of tasks.
Then one evening in October 2020 during the lockdown, I woke in a dark storm, inside and out. The rain and wind were hitting all sides of my cabin as I awoke feeling like a battered and banished woman. After being told that my love was no longer good enough there was a powerful resonance flowing through me like a fire in my blood. The resonance was ancient and there I was with it running through my veins and I let it take me to the edge. I felt my mind starting to leave me while I was shown visions of past lifetimes of betrayal through every ancient civilisation, showing me the wisdom gained in all of these lives and the overarching message of divine union with another of pure heart, everything flowing through my heart. The emotional pain was unbearable and I found myself laughing at the truth of it all while simultaneously crying out the grief of a thousand lifetimes of lost love. I couldn't stand it. I felt delirious with the information that was coming through me. I was on my knees and it was then I realised...
This is when women shut themselves down forever. This is now. This is the moment I get to choose. Either become a bitter old woman shut off from life, men, love, and all I stand for in my work, or I choose to let love destroy all that I was, all the illusions, and crack me open to a greater unknown.
I chose love.
I chose more deeply than ever before to let the destruction of my life be the destruction of all that stands in the way of love, inside and outside of me. Through betrayal, I chose to love more. Through abandonment, I chose to love more. Through mountains of lies, I chose to love more. I roared out into the dark night "I CHOOSE LOVE”. But there was more...
Because of the nature of my work, it felt like the universe was showing me how important men are in my life. The masculine inside of me, outside of me, and in what I create in the world. I was like ''Are you F***ing kidding me universe? I'm going through this deep betrayal of the masculine and now I have to move even more closely to the masculine!'' I was shown that part of my purpose/mission is divine union, and so I roared "Okay Universe, then bring me a real Lion-hearted man, and I will show you how it's done!'' I was fierce and wild, I was alive, I was ignited, raw and primal. Through the cracks in my heart I made this wish to the universe, the greater mystery of life and I let it go like a moth flying into the light burning bright.
There I was two months later in the dark winter of December holding out for a hero and this Lion-hearted man walks into my life. I lead us into a sacred ceremony in the dark days of winter during the great conjunction. Before returning home, he asks me to teach him the ways of the deep feminine because he is healing the patriarchal energy within him. I could hardly believe what was happening.
Over the following years, we smashed apart all the illusions of how men and women relate inside and out, what it means to be sovereign, what it means to fight for love, and how to reclaim all the things that had been taken from us. He became my best friend, companion, and masculine guide in the dark. We smashed it all open, we broke the old versions of ourselves in front of each other. Fully witnessed and fully held by each other.
This man helped a woman and this woman helped a man.
We worked on all 3 lines of consciousness, inside, outside, and beyond. We worked day and night every single day on our healing through the deep. We worked to help each other break free from the illusions that kept us slaves to a false ideal of love and life. When everything was showing us to surrender to being broken by life and love, we turned the tables and broke each other into love and resurrected our real lives - Ceremonial life, in our sovereignty, dancing in divine union.
With this wisdom, I made a promise to myself to teach and share the wisdom that enables women to truly become whole in their femininity and masculinity, to truly come alive after abuse, defeat, change, and loss.
I am that woman now and I am here to guide you into your rightful place as the Sacred Sovereign Warrior of Love.
CREATE FROM DEEP WISDOM
Deeply intuitive, highly sensitive, prolifically creative, mystically magical, philosophically intellectual, quantumly scientifical, I have come to realise that somehow I dare to go beyond, deep into the dark, find treasures hidden within, ignite life force, universal power of creation, and always emerge to shine my light to continually re-create life.
I am here to share this gift with you. It doesn't mean you have to be an artist; my art, voice and writing will be a guide for you; something to receive. No artistic skills required here, but you have to be prepared to activate your senses and body wisdom, dive deep into the inner networks of your soul, and desire to re-create yourself beyond how you think you know yourself today, so you can open to a new reality of you and ground your high-self wisdom in this body in this lifetime.
Let’s tap into this golden wisdom and take a journey ...